Have you ever noticed how often you say NO in your life, to your life? How often you reject what is currently showing up as—
- Not what you want
- Not how you envisioned it
- Nice, but not quite right in some way
I don’t mean saying NO to other people—saying NO to other people is necessary from time to time, and seems to be a particularly hard thing for people to do. We often say YES to others to avoid saying the desired, preferred, yet difficult NO.
What I am referring to is how often we say NO in rejection of what is currently happening in our lives. Saying no, resisting in this way creates tension, contraction, grasping. Contraction always restricts the flow of vital energy.
We often rebel against, or say NO to the things we seem to have little control over. It’s like the two-year-old inner child raises her/his head and says an emphatic NO for the same reason she/he originally did—in order to feel more control in ones life.
Let me count the possible ways:
- NO to the weather when it is cold and dreary outside instead of warm and sunny.
- When we find out we have a health condition that we don’t want.
- When we are driving in traffic and cars are not doing what we think they should
- Making health choices regarding eating, sleeping and exercise.
- When new opportunities arise that we are not comfortable trying or don’t feel confident doing
- Saying NO to things that make us feel vulnerable in order to avoid the pain (which also cuts off the pleasure).
When we are saying NO internally, hoping for something different in this moment, we greatly limit what’s possible and we are not able to be present in our actual lives.
This doesn’t mean we have to accept everything that happens to us. But it does mean that before we can more objectively choose what we really want, we need to first accept what is actually here. And then before we reject what is actually here, to ask why we are considering rejecting it, and will that lead to more or less personal growth.
Letting go is ceasing the activity of pushing, pulling and resistance. And when we do, a big YES emerges, a beautiful flow begins to happen, an acceptance arises and we find ourselves dancing with the unfolding now.