Are You Chasing the Wrong Carrot?

We spend a lot of time chasing after things like money and prestige and accomplishment, often to the detriment of our well-being. Sure, we all need financial sustenance and we all want to feel good about our productivity, but at what cost?

I was one of those people where getting through my To-Do List was so important each day, week month–it was the old “hell or high water, if it kills me” attitude.

I was raised a good mid-western, middle class girl with a STRONG Protestant work ethic. I watched my father trudge out the door each morning before dawn and return dead tired after sunset, only to collapse behind the newspaper, totally spent.

That lifestyle left him no time or energy for deep, vibrant relationships with my mother, my brother or me. All he had was left at the job.

That was in the fifties where a good days work was next to Godliness. Hopefully we have evolved a few steps since then.

However, clients who come to me are spent, burned-out and stressed. They often skip vacations due to the fear of being overwhelmed with work on their return, and are tied to multiple technical devices that keep them in touch with their work 24/7 wherever they are.

That kind of living is killing us all and depriving us from having the quality of life that’s possible with some minor re-prioritizing and setting firm boundaries.

One of the biggest jewels in my coaching program is the Well-Being Game. In this game, the client picks up to sixteen qualities of well-being that they want more of, and then rates them 1-10 at each meeting as to the level of that quality in their life.

The beauty of this process is that it shifts the focus from the “getting through the list at all costs” to what qualities of being do I want to be experiencing in my life. This has been life transforming for my clients and for me.

There is solid research that backs up how important focusing on what states of being matter most to us in Jim Loehr and Tony Schwartz’s book “The Power of Full Engagement: Managing Energy, Not Time, Is the Key to High Performance and Personal Renewal”.

When we chase the right carrot—the one based on our values and desired states of well-being, life moves from an unhealthy grind to a continuum of rich experiences. And we still get our work done, but have more fun doing it!