I am going to be hosting my very own radio show on the new Pawling Public Radio station! “Call the Coach” will include discussions on various personal development topics that will hopefully be engaging and provide better awareness and understanding for all of us.
Listeners will have the opportunity to call-in and offer their thoughts, ideas, experiences and questions. Starting April 19th, it will be live on Saturday mornings at 11:00-11:30am and re-broadcast throughout the week. You can listen in around Pawling on 101.7 (soon to have a broader broadcast area on 103.7) or online at http://tunein.com/radio/Pawling-Public-Radio-s172021/. The call-in number is: 845-493-0355.
I am excited about this new venture, but I’m approaching it differently this time from other projects in the past. I noticed that my past pattern is to start a new project with much enthusiasm and idealism. The enthusiasm part is terrific, but the idealism gets me in trouble because I see so much possibility in what COULD happen that I get carried away by that vision. Then I am hugely disappointed when my ideal doesn’t become a reality.
There is no guarding against disappointment. It’s good to commit with one’s whole heart, but it’s certainly painful when the reality turns out to be untenable or less than what was hoped.
I’m an idealist from way back and it used to keep me from taking action. When I was in high school I had a big crush on a cute guy who I had idealized into this fantasy of perfection. My friend Debbie urged me to talk to him or let her tell him I was interested. I protested, saying that I would much rather have the idealized fantasies than be disappointed by the probable reality! I am so happy I have moved out of living entirely in my head—it was the 60’s after all . . .
I’ve learned to approach this current project, and more generally my life, with enthusiasm and hope, but to watch out for idealizing the experience. When I idealize, I project certainness and “knowing of how things will unfold” that is actually not true—I don’t actually know what’s going to happen.
I want to remain curious about what is unfolding, checking in often to see how I feel about the process. The idea is to shift to trusting myself more to engage in the experiences that are going to facilitate my greatest growth, no matter what that may look like, and to trust the benevolence of the universe to provide these optimum experiences.
I don’t know what is meant to happen or what the outcome will be in any of the experiences or interactions with people in my life. When I approach all of it with open curiosity, then playful qualities like surprise, adventure and wonder are available in a way idealizing or “knowing what is going to happen” doesn’t allow. A much more fun place to live from!