Recently, I have become aware of how much I make up stories, drama, and intrigue from the events in my life. I used to think this was a unique gift I had to be able to read people and situations and give it meaning. But now I see how it often gets in my way.
It all started when I was young living in a family that didn’t explain what was going on, so I had to figure it out myself. I had to find a way to create order out of the chaos. By creating a narrative for what I was experiencing, I was able to find a degree of safety and security. This defense mechanism served me well then.
But now that I am an adult and able to take good care of myself, I see how it gets in my way. I see that by creating a particular story about what I think is going on, I box myself in. By limiting myself to the script I have created I rob myself of the experience of being present to and curious about what is actually unfolding. It doesn’t allow for spontaneity, lightness and play. I am way up in my head instead of being in my heart and body.
Awareness and understanding always open the door to releasing old patterns that no longer serve us. This storytelling is such a huge pattern for me. Through the new awareness and understanding I can now release it.
Once I release it, the qualities of childhood that I had to put aside in order to make it through, can emerge again—curiosity, spontaneity, fresh eyes, lightness, play, joy, the unfolding of the present moment and compassion for the child who had difficulty growing up.
As we shine a light on the parts of our lives that are stuck and not working for us, we can discover new ways of being that were unavailable to us. We can move from life being a dreary round of problems to be dealt with and fires to be put out, to a great adventure of discovery.
How about you—where are you stuck in your life? Where is life not working so well?
That’s the starting point to inquire and explore and shine the light of awareness and understanding. Enjoy the revelation and the new ways of being!