Have you ever said no to an opportunity because you doubted you were good enough to participate? Or you couldn’t envision how it would work? I have. And I have what feels like a lifetime of saying no to so many opportunities, intriguing experiences, and amazing adventures all because I just couldn’t see it or, more to the point, I didn’t believe in my capabilities and didn’t have the courage to jump in and go for it anyway.
I recently started singing and playing music with my neighbor, Al, who has been inviting me over to sing and play music with him for years. Finally, because of particular circumstances, I did it. And it has been so much fun.
It took me so long to answer his invitation because of my self-doubts, and using my busy life as an excuse to avoid confronting my doubts. But I missed singing. It is so great to be using my voice for expression of the melodic line. Life is just too short to hide behind insecurities and doubt. I see that now, more than ever, as each year zooms by.
How about you? What are you saying no to that you would love to be doing if only you had the confidence, vision, and courage? It is not too late to embrace that which calls to your heart.
I admit to fantasies of stardom, hopes of greatness, professional breakthroughs, whatever that is. And I grieve the loss of my name in lights and accept that maybe that is just not meant to be for me in this lifetime. But I can still experience the joy of participating at whatever level is available to me.
The truth is, the pleasure is found in the doing—just participating wherever we are. It can be a profession, a hobby, a vocation, or a great way to spend a Sunday afternoon—it’s valuable to our lives at whatever level.
Our culture seems obsessed with celebrity, the top 1% in the entertainment world because it vicariously fulfills a fantasy of being a performer, artist, or athlete for many people. But vicarious living is an illusion—we don’t get to have the experience ourselves, directly, with all the wonder that comes with it. We just get some watered down version from a distance.
So what is it you have always wanted to do? Where in your life are you hiding out, waiting to get better, more confident, or for the stars to align in a way that you will finally let yourself have it?
What’s this longing deep inside, threatening the status quo
A calling I can no longer deny, speaking in feeling tones
Reminding me of who I am, and what I’m here to do
Asking me to answer, with receptive gratitude
Calling calling for courage
Calling calling for strength
Calling calling for what I need
To freely give my gift
It’s inside us all, the purpose of our life
Listen for the call, allow your light to shine.
©2012 dei music
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