To use your talents and abilities to make a difference, but feel it’s just not possible?

Do you want your life to be about something larger than yourself—to make a meaningful difference in the world, but you have no idea how to go about it or in what way you can contribute? Does it feel unrealistic and out of reach? Do you fear leaving your comfort zone and stepping into the unknown where you may not recognize yourself?

You may experience having to break through your self imposed limits, and people around you may feel threatened and not recognize the new, self-expressive you. So what happens instead, is the years keep passing as you suppress this unfulfilled longing.

You tried living the life others wanted you to live, choosing a career friends and family members said you’d be good at, buying yourself better toys, but it wasn’t what you wanted and it wasn’t enough—it left you with a deep longing to really give back in a significant, life changing way—one which draws on deeper, creative parts of you crying out to be expressed; to allow your full self to emerge, to see what’s possible. Is there time to unearth these parts and become whole?

Yes! This is actually the perfect time to let go of the old family story of who you are supposed to be, to find the passion and spark that brings you to who you truly are, to discover and clarify your gifts and how to share them in a meaningful way.

How do you get started?

First, you can subscribe to my bi-monthly newsletter, Bits of Inspiration, which will support you on your journey. You get a free download of my Jewel in the Heart Meditation, which will help you relax and start listening to the wisdom your heart has to give you. Are you wondering if coaching can help you?

Serving Katonah, Westchester, Putnam, Dutchess Counties, NY as well as phone and Skype coaching.

• You long to finally do what you feel called to do and you are ready to explore next steps toward self-expression and contribution.

• You are tired of feeling stuck and uninspired; you want to use your abilities and talents to leave an impactful legacy.

• Traditional talk therapy has only taken you so far—you want to take action towards creating a more meaningful, purposeful, generous life.

• You want to bring your creative dreams to life, but don’t know where to begin.

• You have been looking after your family and now it is time to feel the joy of giving on a larger scale.

But will coaching work for you? It will if:

• You want to make a difference with your gifts and talents
• You are willing to invest time, money and effort in this process
• You want the support to make changes and are willing to receive it
• You are willing to try new things, be a beginner and be open to discovery

Get tips and ideas in my bi-monthly newsletter, Bits of Inspiration.
Or you can read on to find out how it all works…

Serving Katonah, Westchester, Putnam, Dutchess Counties, NY as well as phone and Skype coaching.

DISCOVER YOUR LIFE PURPOSE–Find the true reason you are on this planet at this time and how you are meant to contribute.

GET CLARITY—Discover what’s meaningful to you, holds value for you, speaks to your heart. Clear away blocks that have stopped you in the past.

MAKE A PLAN—Develop clear, concise steps towards wholeness and fulfillment. Brainstorm possibilities and opportunities that you may never have allowed yourself to consider. Write your own story.

GET SUPPORT—Gain courage and wisdom through inquiry. Discover how to use your gifts and talents creatively. Create deeper connections with yourself, the ones you love, and with spirit. Reconnect to the missing heart in your life.

If this makes sense to you, then sign up for my free bi-monthly e-newsletter Bits of Inspiration. You can also contact me for a free consultation and get your questions answered. If you are still on the fence, and you are in mid-life, you may be caught in one of the most dangerous myths of this middle passage.  What myth would that be?

Serving Katonah, Westchester, Putnam, Dutchess Counties, NY as well as phone and Skype coaching.

What is it?

The Mid-life Myth is that this phase of life is nothing to take seriously—you’ll get through it and back to your old self soon . . . hopefully not after wreaking too much havoc with yourself and the ones you love.

Do you find yourself spending more and more time—at least a couple of times a week—imagining yourself doing something radical, that might cause a shock wave in your professional or personal life? Do you want to quit your job, move to the islands, have your face lifted, get a new spouse?

You don’t have to do anything that drastic. Change can happen smoothly and incrementally and make a huge impact. It is truly possible to navigate this middle passage with grace and wisdom.

Rather than this being a time of feeling vulnerable and scared facing mortality down the road, this is actually an amazing opportunity to dive deep and explore the coral reef below with all its wonder and beauty. You will emerge with a feeling of gratitude for being alive and an excitement to begin a new and more expansive phase of your life.

The place to get started:

Sign up here for my e-newsletter Bits of Inspiration and get a free MP3 download of the Jewel in the Heart Meditation.

Then you can contact me for a free consultation where you can get your questions answered and find out if it’s a fit for me to coach you toward living the life you want.

Serving Katonah, Westchester, Putnam, Dutchess Counties, NY as well as phone and Skype coaching.

Then life happens: our parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, teachers, friends, virtually everyone we come into contact with when we are young, unconsciously pass on their own unresolved painful experiences, wounds, shadow selves to us.

When we are young, we learn which parts of ourselves are acceptable and which we have to tuck away in order to survive.  In the tucking away, we lose big pieces of who we are.

Things happens: accidents, disappointments, broken promises, lost opportunities, failed attempts at success, thwarted heart longings, unrequited love, drama of some sort or another, all leaving deep impressions on our young souls, which takes us away from ourselves.

We carry these impressions with us throughout life. We feel victim to what appears to be circumstances outside of our control but actually unconsciously projecting onto everyone we meet, recreating similar events, in hopes to finally heal this wounded part of ourselves.  When the wound doesn’t heal we are left feeling more disconnected, confused and lost.

This, I have come to realize, is the hero’s journey of our life: to inquire within and discover which parts of ourselves have been lost, gone into hiding; to go back to those places of wounding and allow our stronger, adult selves, who are more capable of handling intense emotion now, to feel the pain of those wounds and that loss.

And when we do…our essential qualities of love, beauty, strength, compassion, true will, truth, and joy return—they arise in our being in a way that feels incredible yet strangely familiar.

As we retrieve the lost parts of ourselves, known to us when we begin this journey, we move towards wholeness. The more courageously we take these steps, the more our unique path is clear and we can find our way back home. And that is a glorious place to be! Hallejulah!

“We shall not cease from exploration,
and the end of all of our exploring will be to arrive where we started
and know the place for the first time.”

T.S. Elliot

Or there may be challenges in your life, work or family that cause you to lose your balance—a high cholesterol test result when you are doing everything possible to take care of your health; a re-organization at work that leaves you reporting to a surly supervisor; a brother or sister that doesn’t take keenly to you becoming more independent and confident.

We are much more affected by what is going on around us then we realize or care to admit. These stories of upset in other people’s lives can cause us to question the security of our own lives and the direct challenges in our own lives can rock our world at its core.

We find ourselves grabbing for comfort from familiar sources or numbing out with too much TV, alcohol, food, or complaining to a friend, blaming others and feeling like a victim.

When we are in this state of being, we are disconnected from ourselves. Connecting with ourselves on a regular basis helps us develop a relationship that is supportive, centering and grounding and helps us deal with the free floating anxiety of everyday life. We can connect by:

• Spending 10-20 minutes in stillness each morning, focused on our breath going in and out of our body.  This adds oxygen to our bloodstream and takes us out of our over-active mental state so we can connect to our feeling body.
• Actively bringing our awareness from the top of our head down through our body, waking each part as we go— from our crown at the top of our head for connection to universal consciousness; to the third eye for clarity of vision, intuition, and discrimination in the center of our forehead; to our throat for speaking truth; to our heart for feeling all feelings, including love and compassion; to our solar plexus for self empowerment; to our belly for creativity and sexuality; to the base of our torso for groundedness; and out the bottom of our feet, visualizing roots growing deep into the center of the earth for support.
• Writing our thoughts, feelings, concerns in a notebook or journal to process, downloading them out of us and onto the paper, making more room for creative ideas, good feelings, and clear thinking.
• Walking, running, or sitting in nature to attune our bodies to the rhythms of the natural world where anxiety is a non-existent concept.
• Reading inspirational writings.

The value of connecting with yourself daily is tremendous. Just a little bit of time sets the tone for your day, your week, and your life. It helps you calm down and gain perspective when processing what’s going on around or in your life; it helps you find the strength to meet the challenges that come your way; it helps you to know yourself intimately and supports you in making choices that are right for you, saying no when you need to and yes when you want to.

I’m sure there are more ways to connect than what I’ve listed above. Write me and let me know your favorite.

 The question is worth exploring or you risk falling into the illusion that this is what life is about—acquiring bigger and better things.

Depression is very prevalent in our culture. Certainly some people are clinically depressed or chemically imbalanced. But many are circumstantially depressed, and by that I mean they find themselves in life circumstances that require change or acceptance, and are not able to determine which, or to do either.

Changing parts of our life that no longer fit, or are unhealthy, dysfunctional or just plain not what we want, can be daunting. The inertia that sets in can convince us that we have no choice; that there is no way out.  But that is just not true-we do have choice.

In order to make changes in our lives we need strength, courage and support. We need to realize that putting up with the status quo is not the way to live if we want a fulfilling life.  Going for what we want in life brings energy, enthusiasm, wonder, fulfillment, and an empowering sense that we in fact are able to choose, and create according to our heart’s longing.

Then there is acceptance. Some situations require acceptance of what is. And in true acceptance and surrender, comes peace of heart and mind.

As the serenity prayer so beautifully says~

Grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
the courage to change the things I can;
and the wisdom to know the difference.
Reinhold Niebuhr

So what is the situation in your life waiting to be accepted and brought to peace? And what opportunity is waiting for you to step into with a courageous heart to create the life you long for in the depth of your being, giving you a meaningful, fulfilled life? Is there anything more important?

Take the Leap

Take the leap, spread your wings
Sights to be seen, rising.

Take the leap, trust your heart
Find your course, start.

When you least expect it, hands will appear
To guide you to a new place, next steps will be clear

 When you least expect it, doors will open wide
To a new dimension, a glimpse of what’s inside.

Take the leap, do it now
Cosmic clues show how

Take the leap, I’ll go too
There for each other, true blue.

 © 2011 dei music

I recently started singing and playing music with my neighbor, Al, who has been inviting me over to sing and play music with him for years. Finally, because of particular circumstances, I did it. And it has been so much fun.

It took me so long to answer his invitation because of my self-doubts, and using my busy life as an excuse to avoid confronting my doubts. But I missed singing. It is so great to be using my voice for expression of the melodic line. Life is just too short to hide behind insecurities and doubt. I see that now, more than ever, as each year zooms by.

How about you? What are you saying no to that you would love to be doing if only you had the confidence, vision, and courage? It is not too late to embrace that which calls to your heart.

I admit to fantasies of stardom, hopes of greatness, professional breakthroughs, whatever that is. And I grieve the loss of my name in lights and accept that maybe that is just not meant to be for me in this lifetime. But I can still experience the joy of participating at whatever level is available to me.

The truth is, the pleasure is found in the doing—just participating wherever we are. It can be a profession, a hobby, a vocation, or a great way to spend a Sunday afternoon—it’s valuable to our lives at whatever level.

Our culture seems obsessed with celebrity, the top 1% in the entertainment world because it vicariously fulfills a fantasy of being a performer, artist, or athlete for many people. But vicarious living is an illusion—we don’t get to have the experience ourselves, directly, with all the wonder that comes with it. We just get some watered down version from a distance.

So what is it you have always wanted to do? Where in your life are you hiding out, waiting to get better, more confident, or for the stars to align in a way that you will finally let yourself have it?

Shine

 What’s this longing deep inside, threatening the status quo
A calling I can no longer deny, speaking in feeling tones

Reminding me of who I am, and what I’m here to do
Asking me to answer, with receptive gratitude 

Calling calling for courage
Calling calling for strength
Calling calling for what I need
To freely give my gift

It’s inside us all, the purpose of our life
Listen for the call, allow your light to shine.

©2012 dei music

There are messages about our past that are triggered by our present; messages about aspects of our behavior that are not working.  These messages give us a thread that we can follow back to its source to heal those places. Every time we follow that thread, we bring another piece of ourselves, another facet of our diamond heart into the present.

The more of our heart that is present in this moment, right now, the more we are able to choose the best and highest good for ourselves and design our lives according to our heart’s longing.

The more we experience the present moment with all of our essence, the more alive we are to the beauty and wonder that is just waiting for us to drink it in and appreciate all it has to offer. And then it all seems so worth it.

Beauty: Creation’s Love Song

Gazing out into this world, beauty’s in the air
Flowing essence bright and fair, whispering a prayer 

In the eye we all behold, outer shapes of magnitude
Transcending a finite truth, awe inspiring hue

It’s all around us, expressing bliss
Glowing radiance, love’s pure gift

So welcome in, creation’s love song
Welcome in, creation’s love song
Welcome in, welcome in 

Beauty found in quiet space, sacred stillness in relief
Heartfelt beauty, never cease, life beyond belief 

Breaking out in joyful song, divine symphonies composed
Resonating glorious notes, let the music flow

(c) 2007 Lyrics by D Ingram/Music by C Farrell

• What if the controlling boss at work is there to help us hone our skills at getting our ideas heard and respected?

• What if the dissatisfaction at work is a message that it is time to move on to a career that will provide more satisfaction and fulfillment?

• What if the impulse to numb ourselves with alcohol, drugs, food, shopping, or television, is a sign that there is pain surfacing in our lives that needs to be felt, explored and greeted with a compassionate heart?

• What if our health issues are a wake-up call for us to care even more for our selves—physically, emotionally, spiritually—to really address our deeper longings by slowing down and bring more being into our lives?

• What if our chronic upset with our partners is a sign that it is time to develop the courage and strength to have a deeper, more open communication about what’s really going on?

• What if our financial pressures are a signal for us to find out where our money is going and to choose to spend our money on the things that would bring us the most satisfaction and support our values?

• What if our envy of another is pointing out an aspect of ourselves that we have repressed, that longs for expression?

• What if our boredom is there to prompt us to get out of our well-worn rut and have new experiences, to get outside and be renewed in nature?

• What if feeling cranky and out of sorts is a reminder that we need to spend more time in being?

• What if feeling stuck is a message that we need to reach out for some support so we can address the obstacles and get moving forward and enjoying life again?

Life is giving us exactly what we need to evolve and grow in strength, courage and wisdom. It may seem cruel at times, but when we approach our challenges, trials and tribulations with this understanding, curious to discover what is available in them for us, we are able to find the diamond in the rough and bring into the light another facet of who we are.